You can do better (than me). Episode 2: Authenticity

Authenticity. It’s something I always valued but found hard to maintain. It’s not because I didn’t want to be authentic—I’ve always been a bit of a “weird” person, never fitting into the typical boxes. But sometimes, life forces you to choose between being true to yourself and making decisions for others.

Let me take you back to my early years. Growing up, I always felt different. Before I even realized I was gay, I felt like I didn’t fit in anywhere. The kids at school were either playing sports or gossiping, and I wasn’t interested in either. When I came out as gay, I thought it would magically make me feel like I belonged somewhere. But even within the gay community, I still didn’t fit. And it didn’t stop there—I carried that feeling through university and into my corporate career.

Even when I was Vice President at Gay.com, one of the first gay and lesbian media companies to go public on NASDAQ, I didn’t feel like I belonged. Sure, I was in a leadership position at a company that catered to the gay community, but I wasn’t fully myself. I avoided social events, didn’t engage much in office politics, and spent most of my time outside work in my own world. For a while, it felt like I was succeeding—but not authentically.

I eventually left that corporate life behind, and my decision to return to Argentina was one of the most authentic things I’d done. My husband and I were on a mission—we fought for marriage equality, bought a big house everyone warned us against, and started a natural cosmetics company called MIES. During that time, we were completely in sync with our authentic selves. We didn’t care what others thought. We followed our hearts, and it worked. Our business flourished, and so did we.

But then we decided to move to Barcelona, and everything shifted. This decision wasn’t driven by authenticity. It was driven by fear—fear for our children’s future, fear of Argentina’s constant economic crises, fear of insecurity. If we hadn’t had kids, we would have stayed. But with kids, we felt we had to prioritize stability, safety, and opportunities over authenticity. And that’s when the tension began.

In Barcelona, we made choices we weren’t fully on board with. We picked a neighborhood based on schools, not because we loved it. We decided to have a second child through surrogacy, even though we were already struggling with the pressures of being parents abroad. We moved further and further away from the authenticity we had once thrived in.

Looking back, I realize that authenticity is not about always doing what feels right for you in the moment. Sometimes, it’s about balancing your needs with the needs of others. It’s about accepting that life isn’t always about following your heart—it’s also about responsibility, especially when you’re a parent.

I wish I had known this sooner—that you can still be authentic, even when making choices that don’t align perfectly with your desires. Authenticity doesn’t mean being selfish or acting on a whim. It’s about maintaining a connection to who you are while adapting to the realities of life.

Now, as I reflect on how to realign myself with my authentic self, I think about the future and how I can live more in tune with who I am. I want to return to that balance—between acceptance and authenticity. And I want to create a life where, even when I have to make sacrifices for others, I’m still connected to the core of who I am.